i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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