I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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