Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
