bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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