Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
