I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
this is an emotional support booty call
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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