Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
how drunk are you?
Several
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