Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
