She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
