I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish I only lived at night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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