96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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