I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
home. puking in laundry basket.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
