oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
