Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
