What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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