Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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