I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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