Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
