All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
