You can't special order awesome
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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