I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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