Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
