she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
