The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
