I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
