I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
