I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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