my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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