did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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