Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will pee on everything he values.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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