When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
