He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and she was petting her beer can
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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