Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm at about main and main street
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
