Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
