Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
