It's Friday. Sex?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
