I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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