Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
