i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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