The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
