areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
