dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You can't motorboat a personality
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
