I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Drake has all the answers
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
