Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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