Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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