yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
a search helicopter?!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
