To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
