she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
