And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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