I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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