My liver just broke up with me...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
