Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
